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Into The Fire

  by Pauline Edwards

  Copyright 2014 Pauline Edwards

  Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

  Table of Contents

  Into The Fire

  Diagnosis Is Disguise

  Nightmares

  Advil

  Time Clock Heroin Break Out of Time

  World Spins

  Ripple Effect

  My Devotion

  Circadian Grief

  Forever

  Lifecycle Poem

  RIP

  Shattered

  Get On/Get Off

  Behind the Veil

  Turning Thirty

  Centipede

  Justine

  Star Gazer

  Walking On My Toes

  Season of Rain

  Changing Winds

  Capricorn Moon

  Brandon’s Poem

  White

  Point

  Archaic Memories

  Totem

  They’ll beg you to stay.

  A Lasting Impression

  Diamonds and Dust

  The List

  About the Author

  Other books by Pauline

  Into the Fire

  Lungs choke on smoke

  like a fish out of water,

  still I swim on into the fire.

  Flesh is charring, skin is gone,

  still I march on into the fire.

  Even when my bones are done,

  yes even then, I’ll linger some,

  burning, turning into the fire.

  Diagnosis Is Disguise

  Diagnosis is disguise for what really lies

  underneath it all.

  The subconscious crawl away from the truth

  just to avoid pain is what really hurts,

  and is all what will remain until crawling ends

  and embracing begins of life as it is,

  not as it could have been.

  Nightmares

  I remember exactly where I was

  when I lost my mind.

  I was sleeping and in a dream

  by a sea

  being dragged in.

  Sea monsters would eat me.

  Land creatures would beat me

  and then?

  I cried “I surrender!”

  I surrender.

  I admit.

  Advil

  It’s a sad day in hell

  when you’ve swallowed your last Advil.

  You’re not supposed to pop so many pills,

  but it really helps you with the pain.

  Just before it rains, you can feel it in your bones.

  It’s coming on again, so you take a double dose.

  Nothing feels the same since the accident,

  not walking in the rain; now you don’t mind getting wet.

  Walking in the rain,

  clouds swim above your head

  and the pressure starts to build.

  It’s coming on again.

  Nothing feels the same since the accident,

  not walking in the rain; it washes away all your guilt.

  Walking in the rain,

  clouds swim above your head.

  Nothing feels the same

  and you know it never will. It never will.

  Time Clock Heroine Break Out of Time.

  Time time

  addicted to time the quick fix of now now now

  and then then then.

  Then then then break the glass

  trickle turns to blast and black out on time spent too fast.

  The counter clock ticks away. The counter clock a heartbeat sways.

  The Time, still mind, will find you, never leave you timeless.

  Mind will find you, never leave you timeless.

  Drug pusher, time pusher, cling closer, grip tighter.

  Time glass enclosure - can see beyond but find no way out.

  Drug pusher, time pusher, cling closer, grip tighter.

  But sand slips in hands and falls away fast.

  Just when the rush has passed,

  Time turns around. Just when it's over at last

  time turns around and we gasp.

  World Spins

  World spins around in thoughts.

  Look inside yourself, there you will find calm.

  It’s real. I feel closer now to the sun.

  It’s real. I feel our hearts beating as one.

  World spins out of control.

  Look inside yourself, there you will find calm.

  It’s real. I feel closer now to the sun.

  It’s real. I feel our hearts beating as one.

  Don’t be a victim of lies; you can free your mind.

  You can truly decide how you want to live your life.

  Don’t be a victim of lies; you can free your mind.

  You can truly decide: time to rise and shine.

  All you sleepers it’s time;

  all you weepers stop crying;

  all you blingers stop buying

  all the shit they’re prescribing.

  All you doctors with pills,

  I’m gonna send you the bill.

  You owe me thousands of lives

  in overdoses and suicides.

  And you politician men,

  can you stand your own reflection?

  Turn your life around; stand up to corporations.

  And the judges on the benches - justice represented -

  please don’t let us down, you’ll get your own judgment.

  All concerned men and women, all the beautiful children,

  we are in this together; we can make our world better.

  Stand up for the truth, we’ve got everything to lose.

  Find strength from above, fight for what you love.

  Ripple Effect

  Come to the right place at the right time

  to join forces, put together our creative minds.

  With enough energy a ripple can become a wave.

  Enough people acting together will create a change.

  My voice is singing out - I'm ready.

  I stand by my choice.

  Your voice is singing out - you're ready.

  Together we can make some noise.

  Two voices whispering is unnoticeable.

  Two million voices whispering together is much more profound.

  Imagine the sound.

  Two hearts in love beat together as a single drum.

  Seven billion people on this planet, what if we loved everyone?

  The smallest ripple in the ocean can become a wave.

  My voice is singing out; I'm ready to embrace a change.

  Two voices whispering together is just gossip dear.

  Seven billion voices is something to fear.

  The secret's out, humanity dropped the act.

  People remember now what's important

  and they want it back.

  Forget about distractions like money, drugs, lust, war and greed.

  The people are hungry now, and it is their souls, their souls to feed.

  My Devotion

  Don’t know what to do. I’m caught up in my head.

  I feel so confused, like all my soul mates are dead.

  I’m standing alone in unfamiliar places.

  I look around, can’t recognize any faces.

  I close my eyes and look into my heart.

  I know the answers are there, so I try to look harder.

  All this s
earching inside has got me running in circles.

  Time after time it all comes down to one question.

  Who do you love?

  Who do you love?

  Then all of a sudden, my confusion clears.

  I feel your love come and answer my prayers.

  Circadian Grief

  Coming on again,

  this pain repeats.

  My body remembers;

  counts the beats around

  a hormone clock;

  drives unconscious thought

  through the meniscus,

  inciting tears and limps

  around holidays, birthdays,

  and special achievements;

  never fully forgets;

  grinds me back into the past,

  each new cycle

  forging deeper the last.

  Forever

  All my friends have wondered

  when am I coming home?

  All my friends have wondered

  where did I go?

  I was in the water waiting.

  I was in the water waiting for...

  All my friends have told me

  you're never coming home.

  All my friends have told me

  you are forever gone.

  But you are forever.

  Sometimes I can hear you.

  Sometimes I can feel you.

  Sometimes I can see you.

  Sometimes I can touch you.

  I am never going home.

  I am waiting here.

  I am forever gone.

  I am forever. You are forever.

  We are forever.

  Lifecycle Poem

  A butterfly does not lament

  over cocoon lost nor larval days spent

  crawling over green grass and dirt

  else dangling breezily by thread to search

  for nothing more than to pass the time

  to breath the air, or else to dine.

  But instead wonders ‘round the natal perch

  and wastes no time for that clumsy first:

  a flight into the afterlife, whereby the taste of freedom

  washes away all thoughts of those laborious days

  crawling hungry inch by inch;

  the pain of birth by bursting skin;

  the dark and lonely days inside;

  that led her to this stage in life.

  And yet butterflies cannot prevent

  this almighty natural sequence,

  and so surrender comes as their defense.

  How unlike humans in that sense,

  who fight against change at every stance,

  who equate change with death

  and decidedly so are born just once.

  RIP

  Along the rice patties

  I saw a dead man dying.

  Gasping, still walking,

  how hard he was trying

  to hold on to life.

  Arm outstretched, arm clutching

  chest, he staggered forward

  as if forward were best.

  Perhaps he was striving

  for a better place to rest

  than underneath the highway

  in Hsinchu County, going West.

  Shattered

  What a surprise this is; sky’s falling to pieces,

  systematically destroying all our senses.

  No